Underneath A Girl’s Love
Do not test my patience. I know you know how much I love you. Do not misinterpret my silence and pass it on for too much understanding on my part. I prefer silence because I can’t stand arguments. Do not abuse my kindness and think that my saying sorry always means that it is my fault, for you know that it is not.
I am holding on to this relationship because I always believe you when you say that you love me, too. I choose to close my eyes to what I see, cover my ears from what I hear and shut my mind from what I think.
Whenever you say that you love me, I never doubted your words a bit, even though I see a lot of reasons that say you must be lying. You lovingly and wholeheartedly say those three words, but your actions show otherwise. Still, I have chosen to believe you and hold on to your words.
It’s as if even I see a million reasons to leave you and go away, I’m still finding and clinging to that one reason to stay. A part of my mind says it’s not worth staying, but I guess I’m one of those hopeless romantics who believe that love never finds a reason to keep me here (sounds like a line from Glenn Medeiros’ song eh? :))
Sometimes I think if I am still sane. But who is when one’s in love?
I am not blind to see how things are going around you. Your womanizing, your flirting with someone else, your sweet talking of other women. But I prefer not to mind it at all. Well, maybe it’s more apt to say that I am trying to convince myself not to mind it at all.
Some things I learned in this relationship is to have more patience and be more understanding, things I didn’t have before. I admit I’m that kind of strong-headed woman, decisive and proud. But I am trying to change my ways and that is because I want to make this bond work. I’d go to the extremes just to keep this relationship and hold on to it until I can.
Go on. Just do the things you please to do. As long as I can tolerate them, I will just be here, lurking in the shadows and watching you enjoy yourself. I would not in any way fret about it as I am very much assured of my place with you. There are many others, but I sure shine among them.
I believe you because I love you. Just remember that all things come to an end. There is no such thing as unlimited. That’s baloney!
I may one day get tired of understanding you. I may one day lose my patience. I may one day realize how you are taking me for granted. I may one day be hit by a rock and wake me up to the reality that I am the only one trying to make this work. I may just open my mind, eyes and ears one day and see what really is happening.
On that note, let me inform you that I may have to leave even without asking you. I would not ask you to let us talk it over. I would no longer ask you to let me go. I would just walk away from you and never look your way again for fear that I couldn’t take that one step to move out.
I’ll never regret that I met you. What I would regret is the time I spent holding on to you when I could have used it for other worthwhile things. I don’t know how would you feel when I’m gone. But still, I would wish for you happiness, peace and contentment.
As of the moment, let us enjoy what we’re having. Make as much memories to keep and cherish. Enjoy each others company and savor the romantic moments, the fun, the joy and the happiness that is brought about by our simply being in each others arms. There will be so much to remember when the time comes that we’d have to part.
And when we do, the cliche goes:
“You’ll only know the importance of someone or something when you lose them and you can never get them back. One day, when I am gone, that’s when you’ll realize how much I was there for you.