A captured moment (Photo credit: crazyleafdesign)

A captured moment (Photo credit: crazyleafdesign)

I like to sing.

All this time I feel I can launch a thousand ships by the voice that I possess, but when I heard my voice record on the computer, it is only a thousand ships of rats that I can provoke. Oh well.

I keep on counting the days, waiting for something big to happen, waiting to finally hum its last melody and sing its last line. The problem with me is I’m never contented. I’m never contented and comfortable in the moment. I just don’t know why. The restless feeling stayed there since inquiry launched a thousand weirdos in my head. I can’t seize the moment. It’s like this moment would be “The Moment” that I’d been waiting for. And when it’s finally arrived I will be overwhelmed by it. I don’t know what to do. Would I clap? Would I jump? Would I sing aloud? Celebrate? Or, just be? Or just be. But maybe, this is how I’m supposed to be. Or maybe this is just how I love to be.

The stomach is never satisfied with four bars of chocolates today if it knows she would have another day, another opportunity called tomorrow to indulge the pleasure of munching. But what if tomorrow never comes? When will I be satisfied? So, forever is never satisfying. So is life. As long as you’re inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide, you’re inhaling discontentment and exhaling satisfaction too. Just as when I am about to say ‘thank you!, yes , thank you. When did I? Of course I did. And then the other day I did not. And the other day I did. Oh the carbon dioxide-oxygen cycle, if you know what I mean.

Life is just crazy. I’ve realized that if you want to live a happy, positive life you must do it with consistency and persistence. But when it becomes a routine so much like breathing, you’ll realize routines bring no spontaneity nor surprises. So sometimes I don’t really know what I want! They say that when you know what you want, you’ll be through. Maybe I’m not yet through because I have come to a point in life where indecision has been my solace, and now I’m rising up and trying to build the routine of positivity and happiness that I want for my life. Gripping with consistency and persistence is the key. Strive to be happy.

I keep on counting the days, waiting for something big to happen. Maybe there’s nothing big nor small, there’s just me – waiting. Who will I be? The Moment was hearing my voice record on the computer, not Taylor’s Swift’s voice nor Demi’s. That’s just The Moment that I have been asking myself why I can’t indulge so much like chocolates – all this time. So waiting is not gonna finish her song until then.

I love to sing.

June 4, 2012

——

A little luck can go a long way
So don’t you worry about what people say
Who knows when the wind may blow
For an ordinary girl.

-Ordinary Girl, Hannah Montana