Bullying (Photo credit: childsafetyaustralia)

Bullying (Photo credit: childsafetyaustralia)

Bullies, who are they? These people are those who push you around. They’ll be spreading around lies about you without you knowing it. They can tear you apart easily and puts you down to your lowest. There are lots of descriptions of bullies. There are also kinds of bullies: the playground/school bullies and the workplace bullies (for adults). But have you tried being bullied?

For my whole life, I’ve been bullied. I was by harsh words. I’ve been pushed around and laughed at. Actually being bullied is not just physically one can also be bullied mentally and emotionally which is much worse than being punched. It’s quite traumatizing. When bullied, I felt like I was nothing. They call a LOSER and that what I really felt like. It crushed my confidence and those harsh words which spread  around put me down. Though I have friends, few friends about 2 or 5, I’d rather keep it to myself. I acted like I felt nothing with just hiding what I was feeling behind a smile.

It was hard for me to fit in with the crowd that’s why I was bullied. It was hard for me to cope with what I was feeling. So, when I heard harsh stories or words about me, I sit at a corner and just shut up until I go home where I can cry myself to sleep. There were times that I would be alone in a room with a sharp blade or cutter, just slit my wrist and wait for death to come. But the cut was not deep enough to kill me. So instead of considering death as an option, I just cut myself on my forearm deep enough to release the pain that I was going through. Sometimes I would shout my lungs out just to unleash the anger inside me. But it wasn’t enough to ease all the anger and pain. Yes, anger and pain worked perfectly just to crush me like that. Bullies have done it. They made me hate myself. 

Then all the realizations came to me when I sat inside the chapel and talked to GOD. When I was talking to him, I cried every tear that fell from my eyes. He made realized that I was never alone. So, I called my friends and opened up same thing I did with my mom, but never told them about what I did to myself. They became my support system. They helped me to stand up and fight for what’s right.

Now, as I face the reality, I regretted hurting myself. It did nothing. I should have fought for what’s right and I should have stood for myself. I have learned a lot from this experience. Though there are still bullies around, I now know how to stand for myself with the help of my friends and family and I know how to stay strong to stay alive  ).

Actually, while typing this entry/article, I’m listening to Demi Lovato’s Skyscraper. This song even makes me stay stronger when I hear it. The chorus goes like this:

”You can take everything I have; you can break everything I am, like I’m made of glass, like I’m made of paper, go on and try to tear me down, I will be rising from the ground, Like a skyscraper!”

Doesn’t it felt good after hearing and singing along with that song? Will just stay strong and keep fighting till the end.

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