Unfortunately I Didn’t Make It…
“I recall when you said that you would never leave me, You told me more, so much more like when the time you whispered in my ear, There was heaven in my heart; I remember when you said that you’d be here forever; Then you left without even saying that you’re leaving; I was hurt and it really won’t be easy to forget yesterday; And I pray that you would stay; But then you’re gone and, oh, so far away”
Define Heart Aches on your own idea? Do you know how, when you fall in love your heart actually beats faster? Have you ever try your first try and experience to lost?
Ask for, why our hearts hurt? Well, I’m just thinking of this now but…when I think it? Hmmmm nothing can precisely express in my emotion. But because I’m not afraid to love someone, I try to run the race but I was lost and the only thing I gained was PAIN for being with Pedro.
I’m a music lover but why this music can’t join, in my system? When I experienced this, it gave me so much pain knowing that what only remains are, the broken promise? It’s hard to move on and let go once you feel so much pain… You must have suffered a big hurt for it to affect you in this way. And yes, I’ve been there too. Pedro is a great pretender. But I try to pretend not to be affected. It seems that there can be physical pain that ultimately results from emotional heartbreak- like the depression can cause you to feel physically sick. But when again I remember the memory we have during our time we both together, I was then lost. I’m Lost, for having him in my memory. I lost, for keeping him. And if you’ll still keep the broken promise, Only Time heals the wounds. So with the same logic (irony of using logic to describe Pain haha!!) when we feel the opposite…as in pain rather than bliss… all those things are reversed.
Many of us have at one point or another in our lives, for various reasons. It was precisely, for a valid reason. The valid reason which allows making it happens. Hey I just met you, and this is crazy indeed to think about you… It must be a valid reason to run this race? It must be valid reason, to be in this field of battle? I hate this battle, and it’s probably never going to end. Words can never explain the endless torment I felt inside… whenever I’ll felt it, it seems that I stop breathing. My mom doesn’t believe in getting me help, she thinks it’s just a “phase” to be blocked. It doesn’t work like that. Crying yourself to sleep every night is just nothing…It would complicates everything. Although like me, it was a perfect risk to take as much as it made me even angrier than I already am, there was a person (PEDRO) who once came in my life.
Pedro is a great man I ever known before, but when I discovered the ultimate reason he used I was then felt the so called Pain… a very exotic feeling that everybody won’t dare to feel. It seems that I need more blood pumps around my body to oxygenate my organs and my pupils dilate, my pulse races and I feel a sense of exhilaration.; I feel extremely sad, my heart doesn’t race anymore., I just can’t sleep and I want to cry. I was trying and I just tried to think of something, something to liken it to but I really can’t think of anything as bad it took my sanity away. Yes it hurts, the feeling of being betrayed, but Am I going to let it ruin your life??
How I wish I could change everything…on that day. The situation of being unhappy on that day was scared me to death. What If I have a connection for him to be promoted? What If my Dad allows us to be in relationship? What If I have the power to speak? What If……You know, I’ve wondered that very same thing myself! But Now I realized one thing, I have learned to accept that sometimes it isn’t going to work out and that’s ok. I am not going to be afraid to be in pain again…
When people say things without thinking about how it will make the other person feel and without knowing where they’re coming from, they do more damage than they can realize. Time can and does heal, although we may still bear the scars and the raw emotions can come back from time to time. Sometimes we just need someone to show they care and take some of the pain away. Interesting how you( ATTY.) know what I NEED to do. Thank you for your time to read what I write and I appreciate you taking the time Atty. Sorry for the things… I just wanted it to try. I know it hurts but it helps me to feel good if I can show you who I am….