I think I’m done helping myself. Now, I’m here to help and inspire others.
It’s not that I’m perfect – I am not a superhero. I have had only few achievements (or if they could be considered as one) and tons of imperfections. I am just a girl who’s trying to make the best out of worst and cruel and even, I may also include, best situations. Almost all of my issues in my life have evaporated like water in a glass that is surfing in the sun – surfing in enlightenment and relief. And now I think I’m done with myself so much it’s time to fill it up with water of sympathy and empathy for other people, since the water of selfishness and petty things that were once a wave of threat into me and into my peace of mind disappeared and evaporated. Now, what’s left to do is to help them lead their ways though not as much intervening their way of leading themselves but giving and sharing with them the necessary tools for the soul I have collected since the beginning of my journey as a seeker of life. These tools are necessary for souls to have map, flashlight or a lamp of oil and jacket amidst their journeys. These are the pieces of lessons that I learned throughout my whole experience. In fact, each of us has these fitting pieces that could solve one puzzle in life. What do we got? A heart.
I’m not here to give you the definite direction because I believe that each of us has a solitary journey to take and it is within your decision when and where they would take their soul with theirs – to heaven or hell? to eternity or damnation? to greatness or nothingness? or to everything in between those lists I have given to you. It is our choice. It is our decision. And we have the ability to activate their power if we believe that we just know how to.
One minute , we’re clueless. And then minutes would turn into hours into days into months into years or decades and we don’t know how it happened but now we just know what to do. It just means that we keep on moving, even though we always say that we are clueless. For life is a journey.
I’m not perfect. I am just a pilgrim in this world too. I don’t really know how far I would go. I don’t also know that I would reach the destinations that I assumed in my head — if they really exist. But maybe they do. You just have to believe it exists. And now, they do. And maybe God exists because we believe He exists. I believe I am a pilgrim of this world and that was how I set up my foot on a journey no one ever did – because that journey existed in my mind and God planted the journey inside me. The journey is intended for me to tread its path – like how your journey could only be intended for you to take yours. A journey is every people’s purpose. Setting up on a solitary journey, what have we got back from the thieves and robbers of life? Our souls.
And when you tread the path to your journey, please remember that I, too, experienced delays, inconveniences , sufferings and pains. I, too, experienced unanswered prayer, a lot of disappointments, confusions, indecision, filthy and awkward and humiliating things, stupid and reckless mistakes; I too, experienced betrayal, indifference, apathy, degradation and unfair treatment by other people. I too, experienced being naked and being nothing. Please remember that I too, am fragile and helpless. I, too, am struggling and clueless.
Up to now I still don’t know the truth behind everything — behind my every actions, motives, thoughts, wishes, sufferings, traumas; behind every other people’s minds; behind every social issues, every disasters, every problems to every solutions and every solutions to every problems. I still don’t even know how I am gonna survive this HELL WEEK. But how I wish I would. I still don’t know everything because life is uncertain. And life is supposed to be this way. And I guess, we are all gonna be okay.
I still don’t know everything – because I’m not a healer, a saint, a preacher, a teacher, a priest, a nun. You see, I’m not even one of those things, what more of a superhero? I am just girl embarking on a journey like everyone else’s . It’s invisible. But I feel I’m in the middle or maybe beginning. One person asked advice from me and from then on I knew what would be the content of the next pages in my travel book. Somehow I can see a pathway through the dark caves – it’s the pathway of uplifting people. Should I be a healer? a saint? a preacher? a teacher? a priest? or a nun to uplift people? No. It is just proclaiming and declaring that I, too, am human like them.
And it’s okay. And it’s just one hard lesson that we need to learn throughout over and over again. So I think I’m done helping myself, but I will keep on moving, by helping and listening to them, and by learning lessons from them too, because even though we have separate roads to take; I, too, am a pilgrim, a girl and, especially a human – who is always here.