Indifference     (Photo Credit:    Vinodnarayan)

Indifference (Photo Credit: Vinodnarayan)

Next time, I will never give in. I will never tell the truth again.

I will never let them know how I feel about them. I only get frustrated and left alone in the end.

I will never tell someone if I like him back or if I love him back. From now on , I will be indifferent. It’s time for me to be selfish.

And I’m better off alone.

No, I’m never lonely every time that I’m alone. In fact, I’m always happy, and satisfied of myself. I was just hoping that for once, for that one chance that I have given myself permission to let go and listen to my heart, this time it would turn out to be different.

But no, it didn’t. It’s the same old story.

And it really hurts. He ignores me like he doesn’t know me anymore. We act like strangers to each other. And I don’t want to make a move. I would like I’m desperate.

Or maybe I really am.

I told him to stop courting me and we should just be friends.

Now it happened again. Now, I’m missing everything about him. He’s everything that I ever wanted. I know for now that this is real. But every people around me is saying ‘No!’ So I told him the magic word,’FRIENDS.’

Apparently it’s not magic, it’s a curse. It’s a huge border between two lovers and a perfect antidote for ever wanting to pursue a forbidden love.

Now I’m becoming more and more convinced that I was just being fooled again.

I’m a fool, yes. And now I have learned another yet great lesson. No, this is already a punishment. When will I really learn? I won’t really learn my lesson.

Shield and armor: indifference

Heart: breaking and falling and crying but still beating

Mind: FINE. Leave me alone!

 

author:   mariareigns

p.e./kf