Alone in a Crowd   (Photo Credit:   Flickr)

Alone in a Crowd (Photo Credit: Flickr)

I was really happy most of my teenage  life, I was fortunate enough to buy everything that I needed and had the privilege to have some of the things that I wanted, I had loads of friends that I could go out with, and I could visit my cousins and relatives who lives nearby whenever I was feeling a little bored. A simple life yet so enjoyable but not until I have migrated abroad.

So there I was, a 17-year old girl stepping into a foreign country with a completely different culture. My entire life has changed totally in a glimpse, from the things I am used to up to the people I will be living with – my parents, I know it sounded remarkably strange but to be honest, I don’t know them and they don’t know me that well, they left me when I was 6 to work abroad so I haven’t got much clue what my life was with them, since then I have only seen my mum once for a month and my dad twice but we had constant communications.

I found it really difficult to adjust with my new life, I was not used to having someone who kept on asking me how my day was, what I did and ate, who am I with, what I did with my friends, what did we talked about, whenever I was using my iPad they kept on asking who am I chatting with and all those kind of stuff, cos when I was living with my brothers and my granddad they just let me get on with my life and did not even bothered asking how I was, which I prefer because I felt like they trusted me and I’m allowed to do whatever I want cos they know that I am well aware of my limitations. I know it’s normal for any parents to be so protective especially because I’m the youngest and the only girl in the family but I think that has a massive contribution why I am feeling so alone right now.

I enrolled to my local college, made friends but I haven’t had the time to really have a bonding with them cos I was working during weekends so the friendship didn’t last, I finished my course and enrolled for a new one, this time it’s an evening class, made friends again though they’re a lot older than me due to the type of class I have chosen, friendship didn’t last too cos I was working 12 hours a day 7 days a week so I have no time for a social life at all. Whenever I was lucky enough to have a day off, I would rather stay home and save the money that I was about to spend for my family due to financial status and maybe because I don’t like being questioned of the things that I did and the people I was with.

The  kind of life that I had is definitely not what I wanted but I am thankful for it cos I know that there are a lot of people out there who are struggling more and have a bigger problem than I have. Who and where I was is absolutely my choice cos I believe that sometimes sacrifices are necessary so that you can deliver your obligations and responsibilities which I can proudly say that I have managed to help my family and my relatives to have a better life. I have sacrificed my social life for five years and you can imagine how boring my life has been, I have a lot of people around me and I am still in contact with my friends back home but by the end of the day I do realize that I don’t have anyone I can talk to about how I really feel, well there is but she’s thousand miles away.

What and where I’ve been played a great role on where I am right now; I have a great career and a more secure life, finance wise. Remember that all your hard work and sacrifices will pay off and you will benefit from it in the future.  After all that I’ve done for my family and the personal sacrifices that I did, I think I owe myself big time.

Everything happens in God’s time and I think  it’s time for me to go out there, make friends and live my life ’cause everyone deserves to be happy and so do I.

author:  kitty_lover

p.e./mj