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My Sweetest Sin

About AR

live, love, laugh, reading, writing..

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Naguguluhan na ako. Ang selfish ko talaga. Alam ko nasaktan kita kaya ka lumayo. At dapat lang naman. Tama ka nga nung sinabi mo sa ‘kin na hayaan na lang kitang maging masaya.  Parang nagising ako sa katotohanan na para bang tinatali kita sa akin. Tapos, ikaw, nasasaktan ka lang habang ako masaya dahil nandyan ka para sakin. It was not your responsibility to make me feel happy, but you always did. I never see your pain; I just wanted  to be happy, enjoying  so much time and effort that you gave without getting any in return.

I just want to say sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused you. Sorry for not recognizing your worth.  I feel sad for me.  I never saw your effort making me feel happy those times that I was so lonely, cheated and hurt. You tried your best just to brighten up my day. Once, I was so surprised that you gave me an ice cream just to make me stop  crying. I don’t know if you knew this but that was the first time that I felt so much “kilig” for a guy.

I don’t know if you will read this entire piece of shit, but for me I just want to express my emotions through this because no one cares to listen and no one will understand me. Maybe if they will hear my stories about you they will judge me as malandi or loka loka.

I can’t erase you from my mind. Every time I hear the song that you dedicated to me, it always reminds me of you. Even how many times I’ll play it I can’t stop myself thinking of you. Kamusta ka na kaya? Alam ko masaya ka sa kanya kasi ito yung gusto mo, diba?

Naaalala mo pa kaya ako kahit minsan lang sa buhay mo? Galit ka ba sakin? Bakit mo ba ko inaway kasi? Kasalanan ko ba naging ganito tayo? Alam mo naman na affected, ako diba? Alam mo naman din siguro na ayaw kong makagulo. Kaya nga hindi na kita pinapansin eh. Pero hindi ko pala kaya ang ‘di ka pansinin habang buhay. Hindi ko kayang iwasan ka kasi halatang affected ako. Nakakainis. Pag nakikita ko ang girlfriend mo, alam ko mahal na mahal ka niya. Ngayon ko naiintindihan yung nararamdaman mo dati kapag nakikita mo kami ng boyfriend ko.

Ang galling talaga ng tadhana tyumempo. Kung kelan alam ko na sa sarili ko, kung ano yung nararamdaman ko para sayo saka mo sinabi sa ‘kin na may girlfriend ka na. Para kong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig galling swimming pool sa lakas ng impact ng sinabi mo.

Ang gusto ko lang naman makausap ka. Mag usap tayo. Para maka move on na ko. Ang hirap ng ganito. Ang dami kong gustong sabihin sa ‘yo at ipaliwanag. Pero siguro kahit sabihin ko naman sa ‘yo, wala lang din naman mangyayari.

Love,

Ang sobrang nagsisisi na babae na nakilala mo.

It’s a sad fact. You will never see the value of the person unless he is gone. A very cliché phrase but may apply to all situations in life.

author:  denice

p.e./mj

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  • iceburn

    Hindi ka malandi, hindi ka loka-loka. bawat isa sa atin ay malayang ipahayag ang nararamdaman. Minsan kasi sa buhay pag-ibig natin, may mga nakikilala tayo sa maling pagkakataon. hindi natin napapansin yung mga efforts nila, nababalewala natin yung nararamdaman nila, kasi abala tayo sa iba. hindi mo siya pinapansin nun kasi ang akala mo siguro laging nandiyan siya para sa’yo.pero bawat tao ay may kapaguran. lalo na kung ang pagpapahalaga mo ay hindi nila nararamdaman. “minsan pa nasasabihan nating kulang sa pansin. alam mo ba kung bakit may mga taong nagpapansin? kasi may mga tao na hindi marunong magpahalaga sa ginagawa at pinapakita ng iba.”