To Teens Who Think Love is Everything
Hey! I’m pretty sure you hate being reprimanded. You may think older people just don’t get you, that they’re trying to pry too much in your life. You probably take a lot of crap from your parents or other family members, and I know hearing it from a stranger makes it absurd. I can’t promise to take it easy on you, but I’ll try to be as “cool” as possible.
I’m writing this because I’ve recently heard this story about a 13-year-old taking camp on his 15-year-old boyfriend’s apartment because she apparently had had enough of her parents’ scolding. She was gone for three days. Her mother went to the guy’s apartment and started lashing about, but the girl was nowhere to be seen. Turns out, she was hiding somewhere in the rooms (beats me how her mother didn’t find her), and her mind was set—she wanted to live with her boyfriend. Because she ‘loved’ him more than her family.
You see, love is blinding. Or the idea of it anyway. If someone tells you “I love you”, you’d feel elated, especially when you like the person saying those words. No matter your age, when you have that certain warm feeling inside when you hear sweet nothings, you’d probably have only one explanation for it: LOVE.
That’s where the trouble sets in. What is love, really? How can you be sure if you really love a person?
When I was your age, I was more like a kid than a teenager. I may have been a late-bloomer. Sure I had crushes, and I’ve had the “falling-for-you” and “unrequited-love-oh-I’m-unlucky” phases. The only difference was that before, I had fun being a kid and didn’t have deeper problems other than getting 79 in our Filipino subject. Oh if I could only let you hear and see our playful conversations and compare it to what you have now. I see you kids (yeah, you’re still kids for me) anywhere and all I hear in your convo is how much you adore your boyfriends, how heartbroken you are because your crush has someone else, what you should do to get someone interested (“should I use more makeup??”). It makes my head pound like crazy. I mean, seriously?
Let me tell you about love. It’s not only rainbows and butterflies. Oftentimes, you and your loved one will disagree on stuff, and you have to work out your differences if you want to last. There is no real reason for loving someone. Some people can attest that love is like a striking force and there aren’t any words or physical attributes that will make you realize that it has stricken you. It just comes. Love, more than inspiration, will be like your guide to the future—it will shape your decisions. You do not take advantage of each other, but instead help each other become the best. Remember the verse from the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
I am not a Christian, but this verse perfectly describes what I can tell you. Love can wait.
I don’t want to be self-righteous, but I will ask you, are you sure you really want to meddle with the world of love and the chaos that comes with it? You know, as much as we put this L-word in the highest pedestal, it is not everything. Love won’t pay the bills, money will. Love can never solve arguments, effort and understanding will. Love will not give you high grades, studying will.
I’m not saying you can’t have boyfriends or girlfriends, if you’re really into that sort of stuff. What I’m telling you is that you should think twice before making decisions this early. There are too many years for you to enjoy and waste if you want. Why insist on being in love when you can go for uncomplicated things like crushes? Being a kid entitles you to have lesser problems than adults have, and trust me, you would not want to have problems of 20 somethings.
Leave it to the adults to have wrinkles and fine lines on their faces. Wait until you’re older, okay? I can relate to you, maybe more than your parents can because I have once been your age few years back. Right now I’d trade a day of my 21 years to be a teenager again if someone would offer it to me. It’s fun being a teen. Let love in only when you have had enough of crushes. Waste no tears in heartbreaks because your young heart can only take so much scars.
Being a teen is an opportunity given by God that you should cherish because you only get to be one for a few years of your life. Live, laugh and love like a normal kid can.