by
on
under , , , , , , ,
tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Permalink



Disclaimer: Definitely Filipino is a community blog. All who write for this blog are independent, unpaid authors. All views, content, images are the responsibility of their respective writers and not of Definitely Filipino. Please contact the author directly with questions about this article.
Send a private message to author crystabel


  • Latest Posts

My Lover’s Circle of Friends


Ako yung tipo ng tao na kapag ayaw ko o wala akong interes, makikita mo talaga na wala akong pakialam. Yung tipong deadma lang pag di ko gusto. Nakakatawa isipin na yan ang nirereklamo sa’kin ng boyfriend ko for 2 1/2 years na relationship namin. At aaminin ko, apektado ako dun pero di ko magawan ng paraan…kasi nga nakasanayan ko na…at yun talaga ugali ko.

Ganito ang eksena: First time ko nameet ang barkada ng boyfriend ko nung hindi pa kami. FYI, isa sa barkada niya ang naging tulay para maging kami. Mahabang istorya. Eto na muna…nung una ok kami ng barkada niya, nakakasama ako sa mga lakad nila at sa inuman sessions nila. Dumating lang yung point na lagi na kong tumatanggi pag niyaya ako ng boyriend ko kasama sila. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero nakaramdam ako ng konting selos. Inisip ko na lagi na lang sila, pwede ba tayo naman muna?…tayong dalawa lang muna?. Hanggang sa matagal ko na silang hindi nakasama, then one time, I decided to be with them again, and ayun nagkaroon na ng gap, pag magkekwentuhan sila hindi ako nakikisali. Hindi ko alam kung nahihiya lang ako o takot lang akong makisalamuha sa kanila ulit.

At eto pa, ngayon kasi parang ang dami nang nagbago sa ugali ko. Hindi na ko yung tipong go lang sa lahat ng bagay gaya ng dati. Dami ko nang limits sa sarili ko. Dala ba ito ng maturity o dahil natakot na akong mareject o may masabing masama ang iba sa’kin? In short, now, I am afraid to come out of my shell. Yan din ang dahilan kung bakit tahimik na ako pag nakakasama ko ang circle of friends ng boyfriend ko.

Hanggang sa tuluyan ng lumala…yun na yung lagi naming pinagaawayan ngayon hanggang sa dumating sa punto na sinabi niya sa’kin na ayaw niya na kong isama nung pupuntahan niya barkada niya. OUCH sobrang sakit di ko alam kung bakit. Nanahimik lang ako nung sinabi niya iyon habang kinukurot ang puso ko sa sobrang sakit. Bakit ba sobrang sakit. Haaaay. May point naman siya, ayaw niya na kong isama kasi daw parang wala naman akong interes.

Gusto kong maging kaclose barkada niya kasi importante sila sa kanya. Napatunayan niya na yan sa maraming pagkakataon. Kapatid na lang turing niya sa barkada niya. Dahil dun, gusto ko sila makilala ng lubusan. Pero di ko magawa. Gusto ko silang iplease pero di ko magawa kasi ibang-iba na ko sa kanila at ayoko namang pilitin na isiksik sarili ko sa kanila kasi nga hindi swak! Hindi talaga.

Sobrang nasasaktan pa din ako pag naiisip ko yun. He loves his circle of friends and I wanted to be in that cirle…because I love him so much…at nasasaktan na ko dahil hindi ko magawa…to the point na iniisip ko maghiwalay kami dahil feeling ko hindi ako mag-fit in sa barkada niya :'(

Enhanced by Zemanta
  • sa facebook marami akong n discover n mga sari saring prob may nag kaka inloveban may nag kakahiwalay din at marami akung nkilalang mga kamag anak n hnd kupa nakikita…? Hahaha.,.nakaka tuwa ang buhay di2 s fb lalo na s tulad kung nasa abroad nakakalibang……=)

  • Armilee

    I’d probably sound harsh but if he wants to be with his friends more than you then maybe you’re not meant to be together. Seeing that it’s stressing you out this much just means you should just let go,as he may already have done so. If he loves you, he should be the one making the effort for his friends to like you, not the other way around.

    • crystabel

      You’re so right! It’s really stressing me out. He’s making effort naman pero yung peers niya kasi talaga problema. We really don’t get along so well!It’s like I’m trying to fit in another barkada na hindi ko kaugali. Thanks for the comment 🙂

      • Armilee

        Well then there you go. I’m sure you’ll find someone you deserve. There’s a lot of fish in the water. You’re welcome. Be happy. 🙂

  • Iris

    Yes, he loves his circle of friends. But I’d like to think he loves you too. You tried, that is what’s important. And it’s good to remember that enough space is needed in a relationship. You don’t have to always be together to show you love each other. Hope all goes well 🙂

  • dark_sirena

    i believe we all have our our own circle of friends. you have your own, he has his own, and there is another circle.. that is you and him. We enrich the smaller circle, that is you with him, and we dont have to tag along with the bigger group always. we can join them once in a while but not necessarily always. If your boyfriend is spending too much time with his peers, he is not ready for a committed relationship. He should be giving you priority. A relationship of 2 and half years is not enough to keep yourself living in misery. A relationship of 30 yrs also ends in separation. So what is worth keeping in 2 n half yrs if it always inflict pain and misery and doubts and wishes??

    Life is beautiful…LIVE LIFE… LOVE LIFE….BE AWESOME AND DO NOT BROOD ABOUT
    THIS BOYFRIEND. FIND ANOTHER ONE WHERE YOU ARE THE PRIORITY.time to open new windows and new perspectives in life. Good luck and be happy!!

    • crystabel

      I’d like to correct you in one thing. He’s not spending too much time on his peers. Actually he’s spending more time on me. But to think that I’m not really getting along with his barkada which he treats as his brothers makes me feel bad. Anyway, I love your comment! It made me realize that our relationship does not revolve in his circle of friends, it’s ME AND HIM…! Thanks! Have a great day! 🙂

  • Icequeen

    I felt good after reading your blog, coz it made me realze na hindi ako nag iisa. Thanks for sharing and goodluck with your relationship.

    • crystabel

      thanks! napasmile ako sa comment mo. yun din naisip ko. Hindi pala ko mag iisa. nangyayari pala talaga to…thanks for reading my blog! If you don’t mind, gusto ko sana malaman kwento mo 🙂