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“SOULMATE”

About Leilani0731

Destiny. So many definitions of a single word. Sabi nila ang destiny daw ay iyong itinadhana ng Diyos sa iyo. Usually, we refer to our destiny as our soulmate, the person God intended for us to spend the rest of our life with, and hopefully to live happily ever after.

Pero para sa akin, hindi komo soulmate, e dapat makatuluyan mo na agad. Maaaring makilala mo lang siya somewhere along your life’s journey. For me, that’s what happened between me and my so-called “soulmate.”

We first met at the office, he’s a sales representative of a big company which our office has a transaction with. He is decent, good looking and very charming. I remember he was wearing a semi barong top that day, and I must admit, he’s quite a looker. But syempre hindi naman ako nagpahalata noh? Baka naman isipin niya type ko siya, and in my work, I should never get friendly with sales reps. Since I’m the first person they come to when they need to push a sale, of course given na yung magpapacute sila, magpapakafriendly kunwari. And of course, I should never give in, I never do even before those who came before him, na mas gwapo pa nga sa kaniya e. But sa kaniya, medyo sumablay yata ako. He is such a charmer kasi.

That same day, as part of their SOP, he invited me, my boss and my boss’ wife for lunch. It was such a fun lunch because we clicked right away. Our conversations were spontaneous and he effortlessly made me laugh all thru out. Hindi ko nga maalala kung nabusog ba ako nun, kasi I was having so much fun. Then after work, he again invited me for dinner and coffee. Sobra na akong kinikilig nun kasi I can sense that I’m starting to like him, but I kept on telling myself “this is not a date.” I even asked two friends to come with us para naman group date and he was really friendly kahit sa mga kaibigan kong kakakilala pa lang niya. After coffee, my friends asked to leave na because it’s getting late, so ayun na, naiwan kami sa coffee shop, with no one else but only the waiters. From that moment, we both knew how much we liked each other. I remembered him asking me if I consider living and working in Manila (because I’m from the south). I was stunned with his question but I acted as if it’s just a friendly conversation. I said no, because honestly I can never keep up with the life in the metro—the traffic, the crowd, the lifestyle (no offense sa mga taong masayang nabubuhay sa Manila =)… Siguro I was just too comfortable with where I was that time—I was living comfortably in our small city, happy with my current work, with all my friends and family there too, and I was (not really happily) engaged that time. Napansin ko medyo nalungkot siya sa sinabi ko, but I explained that the last time I was there for a review class, in a matter of just six (6) months, naranasan ko na ang mabagyo, mabaha, maligaw, masnatch-an, haha! And I can’t remember how our conversation went that he was already thinking what work could he possibly apply for in our city should he decide to move here. Dun na ako medyo nawindang. I can feel my heart pounding so hard and so fast while we were talking about details as BIG as that.

That night, I knew he has a girlfriend who’s fighting some inborn disease that has no medical cure. For that, I felt very sorry for him and for his girlfriend. Alam mo yung feeling na masaya ka, pero sobrang ang sakit sakit sa loob. Then I shared with him, I was also engaged that time to my boyfriend of 4 years. I don’t want to sound as if I’m making an excuse, but the truth is, during that time, hindi nako masaya sa relasyon naming ng boyfriend ko. Araw-araw na lang kami nag-aaway nung mga panahong iyon, and for the longest time, that night was when I felt happy again.

After that night, he became my constant textmate and caller. Wherever he was, he’d never fail to let his presence felt. Wala pang unlimited call ang mga networks nun, but every night, bago sya umuwi from work, he would call me and ask how my day went, at magkukuwento rin siya tungkol sa araw niya. That went on for months but never naming pinag-usapan ang mga puwedeng gawin o dapat gawin. Siguro dahil alam namin na madami kaming taong masasaktan.

For months, we were having that kind of relationship, and no matter what amount of happiness it gave us, the pain was also unbearable. Slowly, I was getting tired of it, but I never demanded anything because I know I can’t give so much too. We were getting too afraid and too careful at the same time, that we’re starting to hurt each other too. Until I stopped talking to him altogether, parang napagod na lang ako sa mga nangyayari.

One time I was sent to have a seminar in Manila. We had dinner as if everything’s okay. Nagkakape kami nung bigla niyang sinabing “Huwag ka na munang umuwi. Dito ka na lang muna. Mas madali kong maaayos ang dapat ayusin kung nandito ka na.” I almost dropped my tall cappuccino after what he said. I remember he even proposed to me that night but I just refused. When he drove me to the airport, the closer we get there, the more he pleaded for me to stay, but I never did. As I walked inside, I could see my phone ringing and it was him calling. Tears kept falling on my cheeks yet I don’t have the power to go back, no matter how much I wanted to.

That happened, I guess 7 or 8 years ago, and until now everything was vivid in my memory. Now, we’re both married, and yes, he’s married to his girlfriend and I couldn’t be happier for him. She deserves a man as loving and as kind as him. While I married not the boyfriend I had, but a man I met after him. I think somehow we have both moved on, and I hope we’re both happy. So I guess you’ll understand with what I said earlier, that we don’t always end up with our “soulmates”. Because I never ended up with mine. xoxo

Photo credit: anitacharlot.wordpress.com

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  • adminjj

    🙂
    🙁

  • Annie

    ang ganda ng love story mu!! parang sa pelikula lang, kya lang nkaka-pang hinayang lang ung Wonderful Love Story nyo!! But for me, DESTINY is a choice, IKAW mismo ang gumagawa nito. kya ako, gagawa din ako ng magandang love story ko, ahahhaha. I keep praying na kame na talaga ng boyfriend ko ang magka tuluyan. And I believe it will happen kasi pareho namen pinag darasal yon at si GOD ang sentro ng LOVE na yon!! nweiz, Good luck saten!! sana HAPPY at SATISFIED ka sa Marriage life mo!!

  • sid

    This is true.. realistic! it happened to me too, 8 years ago.. I know he was my soulmate.. so sad but i have never forgotten him yet, for me he is the only man i have dearly loved. It just happened that things were so complicated back then. I was young, we both needed enough space! Now he was married already, but there are times i still dream of him at night.. I really miss my soulmate.. In another life, i would be his girl.. 🙂 he’s meant to taught me how to love truly..

  • lex

    I believe it was a Happy ending indeed. Di man kayo nagkatuluyan but the fact na di pinilit yung relasyon, bow ako dun as both of you were mature enough to face such situation na mahirap i handle. Although you had your choice na iwan yung partners ninyo that time since you’ve been fall in love sa isa’t isa. Mas pinili ninyong i respeto di lang ung boyfriend/girlfriend ninyo pero pati mga sarili ninyo. Yes, it was partly a sad story dahil alam ninyo na “soulmate” na kayo yet both of you are now married into different person. But then, this story is an eye opener for all of us na di lahat ng bagay ay kailangan ipaglaban. All people that comes into our LIFE deserves to be part of our JOURNEY. But not all are meant to stay. Aww, Sad But TRUE. Nice story!!!

    • Leilani0731

      you said it right… 😉

      • cher!z

        its yes true,hindi lahat ng bagay naipaglalaban at hindi lahat ipinipilit kahit alam mong siya na,nangyari din to sa akin a year ago i know it significant na both birthday nmin ang 2011 thats the year we met but then recently this year we ended up already..may mga bagay kasing hindi pwedeng ipilit knowing that na masakit isipin or just to say nakakapanghinayang but then the mere fact is they exist in our journey to touch our lives hindi rin nasayang coz we met then not accidentally but by purposed to touch ourlives and no regret im happy for him and i thank for him..

  • hayati

    this was happened to my cousin too!

  • charing

    Sad story but true.

  • Fats

    question is, do you have any what ifs lingering in your mind right now? I didn’t mean to snoop around but im just wondering. Dont you have any regrets at all. lol. Im not even sure if this is a true to life story but who ever had the same story as this one. That’s a question for you to answer. lol

    • Leilani0731

      yes, sometimes I do think of “what if?” … but I never dwell on that thought, because what happened, happened. And yes, this is a true story… this is my story.

  • galo

    yes, indeed sad n happy