It has been confirmed yet again, and this time with a very reliable, seldom used litmus test to appraise sexual orientation- a kiss with a woman. It was not planned, but after one too many shots of tequila as you know, anything can happen.

During the night of my birthday, while we were singing on top of our lungs, this very pretty, buxom female friend started doing body shots. I was just sitting down minding my own business, quite drunk, and enjoying the strains of some sad lovesong blaring from the karaoke. She approached me with a slice of lemon on her finger, a shot glass of tequila on her other hand. I shook my head, saying “no more drinks for me”.

She grinned wickedly and asked me to bite the lemon. In my drunken stupor, I couldn’t really get what she meant. Was I supposed to eat that slice of lemon? Chew on it? Everything was in slow motion so the slice just dangled from between my teeth. The next thing I know, she drank from the shot glass and kissed me on the lips slash ate the lemon half dangling from my mouth.

I didn’t retch or gag. I certainly wouldn’t say I enjoyed it either. I just stood there, very surprised at what happened. I reached for the beer and took a large swig, trying to digest what happened as the liquid made its way to my stomach.

Then I remembered my first stolen kiss with my first boyfriend in my late teens- the heat, my pounding heart, the passion. I felt none of it right now. Yup, I probably felt more passion pretend-kissing my pillow when I was thirteen, imagining it was some hunk.

And so it’s official. I’m definitely gay- not bi, but gay. Zero attraction for females. Nada, None.  Gosh, I can still hear my friend’s laughter as she saw my reaction.

Photo credit: infobarrel.com

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