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Third Sex: Love and Lust

Love comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. It has no boundaries. Lust is a different thing. It is one of the seven deadly sins. And I believe that most people have this wrong connotation that homosexuals act based solely on lust. They associate Lust and Homosexuality as if these two are synonymous. 

What about love?

I guess I’m writing this as an attempt to rationalize. I have read a recent article here tackling same-sex relationships, and I was actually surprised on how most people reacted and responded to it. From what I have seen, I realized that there are still a lot of people who find it unacceptable. And honestly, I felt a little disappointed on all the skeptics’ perception about homosexuality.

I was wondering if anyone who condemns the LGBTQ community have thought that love is actually involved into this never-ending issue. 

Sure, anybody would want to have a life within the norms. Everyone wants to be accepted, right? Certainly, it would be easier if their love story goes like this: boy meets girl they fall in love and got married and live happily ever after.

But here’s the painful thing, being gay isn’t a choice. 

Love is way beyond any reasoning. And sometimes the case is presented like this: boy meets boy, or girl meets girl. A deep attraction forms, a meaningful relationship follows, and eventually they’ll fall in love with each other and love flows. Love? Yeah. You can control it for some time, you can hide it all you want, but you won’t be able to deny to yourself what you really feel. It could even haunt you forever.

Okay, I’m all braced up for those who would want to bombard me with bible verses. You can rant all you want especially with the Sodom and Gomorrah or the ‘abomination’ thing but here’s how I see it. I’m not a bible expert, but I think it pertains to the lust that is immoral. The motive behind the action. The bible have tons of verses about love. And as for me, I don’t think there’s something wrong if two guys are ‘together’ or two girls are engaged in a more than platonic relationship. For as long as love exists in between them, as long as they’re not cheating, or involved in another intimate relationship, and not hurting anyone, what should be the problem with that?

As humans, I know that one of our major tasks is to ‘Pro-create’. I can’t present a strong argument for that except for the fact that infertile people also exists. And it’s not that they have a choice. For the LGBTQ, they could use alternatives too, in order to reproduce.

Same-sex marriage. Tackling this issue would be a nightmare. A dream to converge morality and legality. It would be like the debate over RH bill in the Philippines — an argument that seems to be leading nowhere. 

I do respect the skeptics’ opinions but I think it’s about time that we give these people a chance to live without condemning or discriminating them. 

And for the each and every one of the third sex, if you weren’t reminded recently, I would love to remind you that You are beautiful. You are special. And You are not alone. The rainbow community exists. Go flaunt your wonderful colors! 

About joannah rose fideles

Si Joannah Rose ay isang nars na kasalukuyang nagtatrabaho sa pinakamalaking ospital sa Libya. Minsan na syang nangarap maging isang doktor ngunit napagtanto nyang hindi iyon ang kanyang bokasyon. Isa syang musikero, manunulat, makata, at patuloy syang nangangarap na balang araw ay makakapaglathala sya ng isang nobelang makabagbibigay inspirasyon sa mga tao.
  • naginusara

    cheers!…love this article.

  • sand

    … Well, and I guess Platon didn’t read your wonderful article. What generally upsets people isn’t homosexuality. It’s just sex.

  • ed

    It is not up to others to judge how/who different people love. I am a 300% straight guy, but if guys wanna love/fuck other guys that is their decision. I am actually amazed that this should still be a subject of discussion.

    Though I appreciate Juana Emotera’s attempt to explain/justify homosexuality in the light of what the bible says abt Sodom and Gomorra, I’d even come with an easier explanation: The bible is a book based on ignorant beliefs of a couple of desert nomads thousands of years ago and should really be no guidance for modern day society. After all, it even preaches sacrificing yr child, just to prove you love god more. I call that sick

  • wazzap

    well mind your own biznes,,what matter here is the good deeds you do to others,,though your straight or not! magaling kayo manghusga sa tao pero sarili nyo di nyo makita,,linisin nyo muna basura sa pagkatao nyo bago kayo magcondemn sa mga third sex,,mas nakakahiya pa pinag ggwa nyo!!!! kayo ang immoral!! bgay kayo ng bgay ng verses sa bible ang dudumi nyo nMan…PWE!!!

  • Cookie Fifine

    thumbs up to emylou! you are absolutely correct!
    and whatever preference we have or got WE ARE ALL EQUAL…

  • bu li lit

    hmmmnnn

  • rexroth

    Adultery=immorality……and lust

  • rexroth

    Kudos to cookie….just share love…..:)

  • emmylou

    everybody deserves to love and be loved….and most importantly..be respected for whatever preference and choices we had in life… at the end of the day, we are the only one responsible for our own acts thus, suffers the consecuence of every decisions we make.

  • jums

    ang sex ay nasa pagitan ng love and lust its either SEX with love or SEx with lust… diba korek? same sex o opposite sex man yan kung for sexual pleasure lang umiiral parehas lang IYON! maraming tanggi sa same sex marriage kasi unatural iyon. kaya may marriage sa mga HUmans is for “PRO-CREATION” po.

    Ang “Sexual Attraction” ay walang gender na tinitignan… kaya ndi ko masisisi kung may same sex relationships. ang masasabi ko lang ang same sex marriage is “unatural” wag nating sabihin na immoral… kasi iba na un napakasama na salita. kapag binabastos muna ang sarili ng todong todo un yon. ndi lahat ng bakla at tomboy ganun… matutong rumespeto sa kapwa.. pero xempwe respetuhin muna ang sarili at matutu-tunan kang respetuhin ng iba. ANG IMportanteng RESpetuhin ay ang KATAWAN!

  • rexroth

    Hmmnn interesting….love is kind,patience and forgiving ….and it includes lust and attraction …love without attraction is not gonna survive be it the same sex…but sometimes compromise make it strong and how two people keep it alive….don’t judge other people coz its there lives same sex or whatever….coz I know some people that mess up there lives because there inlaws are these and that…..lets not judge others….only God can…….thanks for a good motivation for everyone..:)

  • Harue

    If they were to adopt, how could they deal with the possible hardship and trauma the child would have? I don’t want to be a downer, but in one way or another, a child of homosexual parents may face these. Supposing the homosexual parents are “ok” with biases, the child may have emotional and psychological scars before he/she is old enough to understand the situation..

    • V

      I don’t understand how you can assume that simply by being raised in a home with same-sex parents would equate to a child having trauma/psychological scars due to their “situation”.

      Family dysfunction appears in a lot of households, independent of whether or not their parents are heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian or gay.

      On the other hand, GOOD parenting is also being done EVERY day by many – gay or straight.

      Children are not born with an opinion of gay vs. straight. Children are taught their fears, their aspirations and sadly their prejudices. Many of us ADULTS could learn a thing or 2 from children about accepting others at face value…
      without judgement.

      • HARUED

        “Family dysfunction appears in a lot of households, independent of whether or not their parents are heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian or gay.” — I do not recall that I pointed out homosexual couples have dysfunctional families. If you would read carefully what I said, the thought I’m trying to get across is what the child may face as he/she grows up. Agree?

        Also, not once did I say that homosexual parents are BAD parents. You assumed that. Again, what I was concerned with is what the child might experience with other people because, let’s face it, homosexuality still isn’t widely accepted. This isn’t to say that I am against it, but what I’m trying to say is that factors like the environment of the child is greatly affected by his/her parents.

        True, children are not born with an opinion — but the environment they live in will bombard them with all the prejudices we can imagine. I believe in the value of acceptance, don’t get me wrong. There’s no question about acceptance (which by the way is not included in my argument), rather I’m saying that the price for raising a child with homosexual parents may cause the child to have psychological and emotional scars NOT from the parents but from the people in the environment.

      • Very well said, all very true, same sex parents may not be the perfect ideal setup but if a single parent can raise a child well then why do people think 2 people of the same sex can’t?
        Their minds are only thinking on the sexual acts that may occur between them but i ask you this > how many straight parents have sex in front of their children? None im sure, so whats the problem really?

        • HARUED

          Thanks for the compliment.

          I don’t really get where you’re coming from, though. Your question: “how many straight parents have sex in front of their children? None im sure, so whats the problem really?” is not related to my statement.

          Like I said, I’m just focused on what the children may face as they grow up. It is true that homosexual may be good parents, but the thing I’m concerned with is, if children may have a good family despite having homosexual parents — will they still have a good experience outside the family? People may not have considered this but not all children can cope with possible biases from people.

    • Rocel
      • HARUED

        I did. Thank you for the video.

        But you know what, what this guy is talking about is HIS take on homosexual marriages. It’s not exactly concerned with what children experience with other people. I’m also not concerned with homosexual parenting style, mind you.

        The speech was good, but his testimony alone does not give something 100% definitive. First, it’s because he can’t possibly speak for, if not all, majority of homosexual children. He may actually be an isolated case and a “happy childhood” may be applicable to him alone, what about the others? Secondly, he didn’t say anything about the environment he grew up in that was influenced by other people which was my focus.

        Whether we like it or not, we’d always have interaction with other people and they will leave a mark on us — be it positive or negative. It doesn’t end with being a happy family, my question is, how will the child be outside the family 🙂

        • Rocel

          If the child was raised right by either by heterosexual parents or homosexual parents, that’s how he/she will be. Environment and people around us are factors as well, which was your main concern. And like you said, those factors can be harsh at times, leaving emotional and psychological scars. That’s the reason why we have to educate our kids, our families and our friends. So that we can avoid these scars. But, you can only do so much. You still cannot protect the child all the time. That’s why we have to instill the correct values and provide support whenever it’s needed.

          • HARUED

            I agree. We can only do so much. Many times, despite all the things taught at home, the pressures from other people may prove to be too great to avoid. Unfortunately, good parenting is not a guarantee as well. I mean, from what I’ve seen from some people I know, they’ve raised hteir children well but still they didn’t turn out to have the same mentality as their parents. I guess it’s really up to the child.

    • mike

      kitid ng brain mo..hehehe

      • HARUED

        Naintindihan mo ba yung sinabi ko? ikaw ba naisip mo yung mangyayari sa mga anak ng homosexual parents dahil sa posibleng ipakita sa kanila ng mga tao habang lumalaki sila?

    • sand

      I’ve raised twins with my partner (they were born before we met). They’re 22 and perfectly balanced. One is going to marry soon, the other’s working on his PhD, dates a lot; they both come and visit us as often as they can with their girlfriends. They look confident and safe. never asked any questions about their parent (no plural, right) except when they had somùething to do with shared love, and seemed to be happy with it. On the contrary, we had endless talks on how they could seduce the girl they had fallen in love with….Come on. Our societies have evolved. Our children have changed.

      • HARUED

        That’s good, and I’m happy for you.

        Again, let me reiterate that never did I say homosexual parents are not good. What I am concerned with is the possible impact of the biases of people on them considering the relationship of their parent. It’s true that not all children raised by homosexual couples experience bad things from other people, but for your case, can you say that the same goes for other kids out there raised by homosexual parents?

        I’m not quite sure about the evolution of society, though. I mean, homosexuals continue to be discriminated, and in one way or another, the children may be affected directly or indirectly.

    • Empowerment

      Assuming that the parents is a given and so is the kid, the only remaining factor is the environment, so I say they move to an open minded environment. Immediately.

      • HARUED

        I guess so. The question is: would such an environment be readily available for them? or if moving is feasible. The way I see it, conflict between what is seen/learned at home and outside is inevitable, and we can only do so much for the children. The rest is up to them on how they’d take it and cope, if needed.

  • V

    I invite everyone to read this article. I refer to it solely because Sodom and Gomorrah are most often used to make a point about religion and homosexuality. Open your hears to people and love one another in a Christ-like fashion and I’m sure God would be very pleased. It is not ANY human person’s right to judge our brothers or sisters or take action to make them feel like they are in any way less than ourselves.

    http://whosoever.org/v2i3/sodom.html

    • HARUED

      I read the article, thanks for sharing.

      I’d like to ask, the person who made that review on scripture, did he study theology too?

      Anyway, I won’t dwell on anything theological, but one of the things that we learned in our theology classes: “God hates the sin, not the sinner.”

      Having that in mind, it should mean we should love one another — but since you cited Sodom and Gomorrah, from what I remember, it was destroyed because the people there engaged in untoward acts. Some of which were abominations. If you would recall, some people even wanted to have sex with the angels who came there who are disguised as men. Their destruction is something they really brought to themselves because of perverted acts.