Conversation with Mr. Love

I’ve been single ever since I learned that love does exist. Am I happy? Of course I am. I’m happy, but in a very sad way.

Oprah Winfrey once said that “You can have it all, but you can’t have it all, all at once”. I guess that’s one reason why I’m still single right now; I always choose career over love because love, as they say, can wait unlike opportunities that come knocking on your door every once in a while. But no matter how hard I try to disregard it, there is an emptiness in me that often bothers me with questions like: “What if love can’t wait? What if I end up growing old alone? What if there’s no love waiting for me after all?”. And above all this is the ultimate question where love and life meet in a crossroad: “Do I really need to love for me to live?”

I remember the day when I had a brief conversation with Mr. Love while walking in a sunny seashore. By the look of his face, you can really assume that this man knows everything and anything about love. You can feel happiness and contentment exuding from his smile and I was left wondering what it is about love that makes people keep asking for more.

“I know a lot of people who have ruined their dreams, cried buckets of tears, suffered emotional and physical traumas, experienced heartbreaking separations, and , yet, still don’t give up on finding their one true love. I don’t want to love if that will be the case.”, I said with a clear anticipation of what he would say next.

“True love founded on trust and mutual respect will never hurt anyone. People are not perfect and mistakes are part of the learning process.”

“Do people really need to love for them to learn? I can’t figure out why people fall in love, get married, have their own family, and then forget how to love each other in the end. If that will be the case, I’d be better off alone or with a kid but not with a partner. Love is just a pain in the ass.

“Marriage is a work of art and by saying ‘art’, you have to know that this kind of relationship takes a lifetime of dedication, resiliency, and passion before it can achieve its own perfection.”

“But why do people hurt one another and suddenly fall out of love? Do I need to love just to feel and learn what PAIN is all about?”, I cried my heart out, releasing all the pessimism and anger I had towards him.

“Love is not all about pain but people need to know that human love is just as imperfect as they are and that the love from the ‘One’ above is the ultimate remedy for the ‘holes” they feel inside them. People, unless they learn about this ultimate love, will never achieve contentment and will jump endlessly from one relationship to the other, giving their ‘whole world’ to the person they care for with a false expectation that it will be returned back.”

His words were so overwhelming that I struggled a lot to absorb every single lesson he wanted me to learn. I had never fell in love and my idea about love being just a “pain in the ass” seemed to be as indestructible as before. I had seen a lot of people who suffered because of love and that was more than enough for me to lose my faith and stop waiting for love to come. Being a bachelor for life won’t hurt if taking a risk to love will just take me to my lowest point.

Suddenly, in the middle of our conversation, Ms. Life arrived and kissed Mr. Love with so much passion and affection, a perfect portrait of a couple who both know what true love is all about. Ms. Life told me that it’s about time for them to leave and they wished me all the best in life.But as the two of them slowly walked away from me, the most important question I had for Mr. Love suddenly dawned on me. Without thinking twice, I shouted with all my might:

“Hey Mr. Love, Do I really need to love for me to live?!!”

No one heard my question and no one even bothered to look back. But as my eyes followed these two people deeply in love with each other as they make their own footsteps in the sand, I had noticed that loneliness still crept within me despite the effort to make myself believe that I can be happy without love and that love itself is just a state of mind…..

I woke up from my dreams but those images of Mr. Love and Ms. Life are still as clear to me as it was yesterday. Though they didn’t answer my question, I know now that an epiphany has destroyed all my doubts about love:

You can never learn how to LIVE if you do not know how to LOVE..and just like LIFE, LOVE is also about taking risks and learning from our own mistakes. LOVE and LIFE coexists and the connection between them is a bond that will continue until eternity.

I’ve been single ever since I learned that love does exist. Am I happy? Of course I am. I’m happy because I now know that true love is just waiting around the corner.

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  • rexroth

    This is interesting topic…seems like everyone wants to jump in and share what their experiences and outlook…but mostly women are more tolerant and have more wisdom’s about relationship than my buddies…(guys) but we have our natural instinct to make it work…but I would say if guys read more about books in relationship like their cars manual….it would lower the divorce rate..:)…its not about being soft…its about learning how to listen more and understand what our love wifey/husband wants…..its easy to find who to love….but hard to make it or keep it together with someone….heart is a dumb organ….but its stupidity make a difference 🙂

  • Isko

    me @27 as of now…

    “I’ve been single ever since I learned that love does exist. Am I Happy? Of course I am. I’m happy because I know that true love is just waiting around the corner.”


  • reyesheila

    Nice read. Akala ko ako na lang ang nag-iisip na MY TRUE LOVE IS JUST WAITING AROUND THE CORNER.
    I’m 27 and ang daming nagtatanong kelan ako mag-aasawa. And gaya ng lagi kong sinasabi, ‘hindi pa sya dumadating’. Some would just agree, and meron din namang kokontra and will say na ‘hindi lang dapat hintayin, I should go out on dates and meet people.’
    But I stand firm on my belief na dadating yung para sakin, hindi ko dapat hanapin. Darating in His own perfect time.

  • single and blessed

    I love your article…I am also one of those na kasama sa samahang NBSB…im already in my early thirties and during family gatherings and reunions, the biggest question always is…Kelan ka mag-aasawa? and I would just reply “pag binigay na ni Lord yung para sa kin” because I strongly believe that it is not my will but HIS will be done…I know in HIS perfect time, ibibigay din nya sa kin ung Guy na para sa kin…

  • jean

    … Well., nice article.. in some I way I can relate to this one.. Been busy with my career that i find it hard to look for Love..and kept believing that I am better off alone.. But at the end i realized I was just afraid to fall in love.. scared of PAIN that I might encounter.. that my HEART might be broken.. In short.. I’m just really afraid.. but somehow, i wish to fall in LOVE.. and reading this one makes me realized that maybe Love is just around the corner.. I just Let it come in.. take a risk.. coz life is all about taking a risk..

  • In some way, I can relate because I gave up my career to stay home with my daughter because I love her.

    But anyway, I think as with opportunities, love may or may not wait. It’s important that we keep our hearts open and be optimistic about life and love.

  • Kath

    This was the topic in our household meeting last month. And I couldn’t agree more 🙂 Let us just patiently hope that someone is also out there praying to find us at the right time.

  • akolang

    N.G.S.B ako.. ikaw din po ba author? kelangan kaya ako magkaka g.f… kung di lang ako torpe. pero gusto ko kase pag magka g.f ako may maipagmamalaki ako sa kanya.. yun bang tipong financially stable ako at kaya ko syang buhayin kahit pa hanggang sa magiging future namen.

    • akolang

      *kelan kaya

    • That’s a good move akolang. Wala pa rin akong gf up until now. Sa sobrang tagal feeling ko confused na ako..haha.joke. But just like what they said, we have all our own reasons why we’re still single. We only need prayers and I know love will come to us at the right place and at the right time. No need to search for it yourself.

    • liway

      darating yan.. sa hindi mo inaasahang pagkakataon… 🙂 pray ka lang.. pero pagiging single ay isang part ng proseso.. pwedeng paghahanda,, at pamamahinga :)galing sa nakakapagod na relasyon..

      Marami pa tayung single…. pero hindi ibig sabhin nun single forever.. bsta enjoy lang natin ang life.. 🙂

  • xan

    hmmm….very nice article. its true that when u LOVE u feel ALIVE…its like every little thing around you has meaning…ive been there. But now i feel lifeless…I missed being ALIVE…thanks for this article.

  • anjoyz

    reality…very nice po ang article nyo..pinabasa ko din sa po sa kaibigan ko napaisip din sya..kasi talaga ngang ndi nman dapat minamadali ang love, at di din ito hinahanap..kasi dadating at dadating sa atin yun..tsaka andyan naman si Papa Jesus..sana po makapagpost pa kayo ng madaming madaming nakakainspired na katulad nito.Godbless us all the time.:)

  • Lacre, Juvy Love L.

    very nice article… ^_^

  • michellej

    i think u should pray and ask god to give you that right person, right person but not the perfect person there’s a big difference, right person to adjust in your weakness,and your strength, we really cant have it all, and we can only accept and understand it once we understand the purpose of god in our life.

  • Very nice article. God is pure love. The miracle of love is to accept the totality of the person inside and out. And if you have never experience the epitome of love, well you really haven’t lived. Love is so profound. It really feels like so much butterfly in your stomach and floating and having that great smile. Pain and the loss of that love, is so over whelming. It’s a lesson though, so learn and let go. Afterwards pray to God for someone to come along. Funny thing though sometimes it’s not or exactly what you prayed for…

  • Adrian Pantonial
  • maria irene neri

    dont be a fool when you cant find a lover.sometimes waiting for a goodman pays kamadali mong makahanap,matisod ka pa.its best to ask and pray from God na darating ang God fearing man sa buhay natin di worldly oriented man na walang values about life kundi pansarili lamang ang iniisip…mabuhay ang believer ng prayers….To God all the glory…..

    • Rose

      I agree with u maria irene…if we just only know how to wait patiently,God will surely gives us the best man that we deserve…true love can wait naman eh,di natin kailangan magmadali,madaming relationship ang nafailed dahil sa pagmamadali at dahil na rin sa sarili nilang kagustuhan ang sinunod nila at hindi ang kagustuhan ni Lord para sa kanila..To God be all the glory!

  • So true!!! It’s like ur dead if you’ve never loved someone..even if it’s unrequited love, just the thought of being in love is a great feeling but goes with pain too which is basically a part of it.
    I haven’t found true love yet and i realized being single doesn’t mean ur weak, it only means that ur strong enough to wait for that special someone at the perfect time and moment so enjoy life coz it only happens once..

  • minsan kase kahit gusto mong magmahal eh kung para ka namang tangang hahabolhabol sa kanya edi wag na lang,…natuto na ako,..kaya hihintayin ko nalang yung para sakin,..siguro yun ang dapat ko pang matutunan, wait patiently,..pag nakapasa na ako,…siguro,..darating na lang sya sa panahong di ko inaasahan,…lahat naman gustong magmahal at mahalin,..pana-pahon lang yan…God sees the desire of our hearts,..

  • God is love..

  • dee

    talaga? pano pagtumanda na ako at wala parin? gaya morin ako…. hahaha… pagnagkaganun kailangan na nating tawagin lahat nang klase ng love para ma excuse ako? 🙂

  • trish

    i love your article because i can relate to your story..

  • innocent bystander

    People must learn the art of dicernnment, I was told that I must learn to build a strong foundation in faith before I could live and love, so if an earthquake would come it would withstand the chaos, as I was told in bold letters by the light that guides me “You are not READY” so I was I learned to listen to the voice inside of me….I want to be strong for my partner whoever GOD blesses….and the hardest part is to carry the blocks of patience as I wait for the blooming of a bud in spring….WE LIVE AND WE LEARN, WE LOVE AND WE MUST GROW AS WELL!

    • Ani

      To innocent bystander:
      Agree ako sa iyo..just be patient lang..ako nga iniwanan ng dati kong asawa after nag-abroad..sandali ko lang iniyakan..kahit 4 ang mga anak ko na mga bata pa..panay ang dasal ko na darating din ang time na magiging happy ako ulit sa aking buhay..ayun..very happy nga ako ngayon!!!!I got married again, i only asked God to help me find a good man for me and my kids but He gave me more than that!!!pogi na, matalino pa at mapag-mahal na asawa at ama ng aking mga anak..mag ka-iba man ang lahi namin?dahil sa LOVE, we can counquer all our differences..sana nga daw nagkita na kmi nuon pa man..sagot ko sa knya..let us be thankful that we found each other even in the middle age of our lives!

      • innocent bystander

        I’m happy for you! Bless you both.

        • Ani

          To innocent bystander:
          Yes, I found my hubby and am very happy right now…but alam mo ba, hindi ko sya hinantay?hinanap ko sya talaga as in….hindi ko sya hinantay, naghanap talaga ako sabay prayer to Him to guide me, madalas sa window ng apartment ko s NY sinasabi ko s asarili ko,i know in one of those million stars in heaven, merong nakalaan para sa akin at totoo nga!!!!hindi ganoon kadali maghanap but it is worth doing!sabi nga nsa Dyos ang awa..nsa tao ang gawa!para sa mga ladies, wag maghintay ng magbibigay sayo ng flower,make your personality attractive, and for gentle men,improve your skills and personality as well, be friendly, go out and start looking around..andyan lang sila waitin for you!

      • ladybutterfly

        Sabi nila wala daw “pangalawang glorya”, di ka swerte sa una mong marriage, so swerte ka na sa ikalawa. Nauna sa akin ang swerte kaya “failed” ung aking ikalawang relationship. Though masakit at mahirap makalimutan, I have to move on at umaasa pa rin ako na magiging masaya pa rin ako sa susunod na pagkakataon. Try and try until you succeed! hahaha!!!