One of the Boys
When I was young, I would recoil at the thought of hanging out with boys. My ignorance, you see, led me to believe that boys (somehow, the term’s more endearing than when I use “men”) and girls, can’t be together for purely platonic reasons. Thankfully though, my mind’s no longer chained to that belief that I can be totally myself around them now. As a matter of fact I realized that it’s such a blessing to have at least a couple of male BFsF (Boy-friends Forever) in my life. Here are some of the reasons why:
1. Boys do not “bitch” about their fellow boys.
Is it because they’re consumed by topics about women, right? Wrong! Open the conversation with last night’s basketball game and they’ll never notice that you (a girl) have shut your mouth up to listen to their endless drone of play-by-play accounts, coaching strategies, statistics and the tiniest detail about the aspects of the game. Why is this endearing to me? I do not only love the sport but I am amazed at the concept that we can go about a normal conversation without putting another person down.
2. They make my fantasy come true.
It’s not what you’d initially think of course. (This is, after all a relationship based on pure friendship alone). Don’t we girls love being treated like royalty? I love it when they hold doors and chairs for me. They carry my stuffs automatically, hold an umbrella for me and make sure I am comfortable and always smiling with their corny jokes (sometimes, the fact that it is corny can be amusing actually). Girls simply just want to be treated right. And for a guy to do that for me without feeling the need to prove something or to impress me – really makes me feel like a princess.
3. They are not consciously vain
Boys don’t constantly ask if they’ve got bits of food between their teeth or if their hair’s still okay. They don’t need face powders, blush on, lip gloss and an endless array of cosmetics to look good. Hence, no “retouches” are necessary. That makes me a little less self-conscious too about how I look at the end of the day because I am among friends who do not really care that my lips are pale and my hair is in disarray.
4. They are not insecure
Boys have this seeming subliminal projection that they are better than the person next to them. The concept “humility is a virtue” is temporarily converted into a fallacy but such repertoire of high praises about themselves are of course delivered with levity that you would not have the heart to take a crack at their inflated sense of self-worth. It just got me to thinking – if I love and appreciate myself and adopt the same innate attitude as theirs, I’d probably be saying hello to feelings of inadequacy less often.
5. They exhibit an unexpected sense of loyalty
Yep. These boys are 100% male. They have an instinctive appreciation of the heavenly creatures that are simply known as “girls”. But I realized it’s all part of their make up as boys. At the end of the day- they still wanted to end up with just one ultimate girl. They seem to have compartments within themselves that provides a distinction between “girls they can hang around and be friends with”, “girls who fulfill the qualities of their adolescent fantasies” and “girls they have decided to spend the rest of their lives with”. And their brains have identified the specific peculiarity in each of these categories. (of course there are exceptions to this observation but I am after all talking about my experience with my own B-FsF).
6. Being around boys give me a sense of security
You become off-limits to the nefarious conduct of others. After all, you do have an instant set of bodyguards around you. The only setback I guess is when you appear to be equally off-limits to potential “princes-in-waiting”.
7. They are not afraid to talk about topics deemed as unmentionables
Sometimes you’d go all red just by listening to them extol the pleasures derived from a passionate encounter with a loved-one. And yet you learn. You learn about what matters to them. You learn that it is not something to be grossed out about because it is part of the intricacies of being in a relationship with the opposite sex. I get answers to questions I was then ashamed to ask. Talking about it with boys seems like talking about a basketball game anyway.
8. Boys love to see you happy
Their optimism is contagious. Boys make things happen. They do not just wish you well. They think of ways to make you feel well and act on it. For instance, they don’t ask me “when are you going to find the man of your dreams?” They give me prospects. From the unsuspecting guy who simply comes to the office to submit a document (“he could be the one for you”)– to a teammate in their basketball team. They’d always remark that had they been friends with me when I was sixteen years old, I’d probably have 3 kids by now because they will coerce every crush I have to go out with me.
9. They are more open about their feelings
When boys look at you as a friend, you don’t need to pry open their storybooks. They will tell their tale without holding anything back. They will not even bother to paint a pretty picture because they tell things as they are. I suppose being “one of the boys” will give you that privilege.
10. You experience a satisfying intellectual intercourse with them
Try doing it with girls and you probably end up not talking to each other. But arguing with boys stimulates your reasoning. It’s actually a great mental exercise with all the good-natured ribbing about the differences between boys and girls. They will not concede a point of course but they have this way which makes you feel like you’ve won of course. To them it’s not about competing as to who is smarter but it’s simply to bond with you and get to know your thoughts some more.
I think I am done holding on to my misconception about boys. They’re far from having halos in my estimate but they will do. It is in their imperfection that I think they were created to perfectly co-exist with girls.