My mid life crisis…

According to Wikipedia, “Midlife Crisis” is a term used to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the “middle years” or middle age of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age.

 

It started months before my big 4-0, I wasn’t exactly sure of it now looking back. Feelings of doubt boredom, indifference, insecurity, unhappiness, being apathetic and uninterested which have escalated to being angry and helpless at times. The thought of going through menopause also crossed my mind, but they say my age wouldn’t agree with that.

 

I used to wake up everyday feeling so much energy like the sun shining so brightly until one day slowly and probably, the sun got caught somewhere else and I couldn’t find it. I was in complete ignorance that some of these feelings of mine were somewhat related to having “midlife crisis” after all.

 

I had been brought up from a middle class family and had good education which I owe to my parents. Married life had it’s ups and downs just like any other marriages but still have survived through all these years. I wouldn’t say I had a hard life neither to say I had a luxurious life, let’s just say a comfortable one.

 

My question is that, “Where the heck are all these negative feelings coming from?” Read and had done my homework, thanks to Google for the answers to my questions had been answered.

“It further adds, midlife crisis is more complicated. Those who have a hard time with this transitional stage might experience a range of feelings such as:

*    Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided them  with happiness for many years.

*   Boredom with people and things that may have been of interest to them before.

*   Feeling a need for adventure and change.

*  Questioning the choices, they have made in their lives and the validity of decisions they made years before.

*  Confusion about who they are and where they are going.

*  Anger at their spouse and blame for feeling tied down.

*  Unable to make decisions about where they want to go with their life.

*  Doubt that they ever loved their spouse and resentment over the marriage.

*  A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.”

 

Never would I consider being in this stage in my life until a friend told me that maybe I was experiencing mine now and realizing these factors, yes I think maybe I am at that stage right now! I know now that this is just a passing stage in mine or anyone’s life for that matter. We may or may not be contented with what we have right now, but this experience somehow changed me in a way. One thing I learned is that this is a just a phase I am going through and just like the other difficult phases I had gone through in my life, surely I will pass it with flying colors!