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At times, you dont need to hurry

Just broke up. I can’t say I’m doing better now, but I’m in no hurry to heal. I’m taking the time to nurse and piece back together my broken heart and my damaged self.

All these days, I wanted to share my stories, my heartaches, everything that was wrong about my past relationship. I chose not to because I don’t want to hurt anyone. Well, actually, I still have no plans of revealing anything about my past relationship except to my closest and trusted friends. All I can tell you is, yes, I’m broken.

Broken not because I lost who I thought was the love of my life. It’s not also because I’m single. Broken because I felt that I lost myself too much in my past relationship that I forgot the things and people who are most important to me. And, above everything else (in the worst way), I forgot about ME.

I’m re-acquainting myself to the old me. I’m now remembering the things I used to love like what I’m doing right now – listening to music and singing along loudly, while writing this post. I seriously need to be in a relationship with myself again before I even think about being with someone.

Some of my friends tell me to go looking for someone new. I know, they’re just concerned about me. But, I’m okay. I don’t need to be with someone or to be in a relationship again just to be happy. All I know is I need to be alone… at least for now.

I’m not going to deny it, there are nights that I feel sad and lonely. It’s understandable, right? I need to get used to being alone again.

I missed doing things all by my lonesome. I miss my independence. I miss doing things for ME.

It’s quite funny, actually, that in the past days, I haven’t had lengthy sleep.I can’t help but stay up all night, ’til 5am!

I love this kind of feeling. Is this an indication that I want to be single forever? No! Hell, no! It could be that I’m not the marrying kind that I thought I was. Or maybe, I just need someone who’d respect and love my need to be independent from time to time without thinking I love him less. Until the time I meet that person, I’m here, enjoying my lonesome and whatever kind of fun (clean or the wild kind) comes my way.

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