Of Friendship and Love
I fell in love with my best friend and it was the first time I ever felt that way. He inspired so many poems that I lost count. I lost most of them but the ones that remain are my best work (at least that’s what I think).
I was a high school sophomore then. We attended different schools and didn’t really get to hang out. His name was Karl. It was a weird way that we met. You see, I was just “instructed” by my friend to talk to him. We texted a lot and in a way, we became close. He was my confidante, and I was his. After that, we became closer and talked to each other every night on the phone. We used to talk about everything. He used to tease me and I would just laugh. It was a great friendship.
I remember so well how he’d say he was talking to his girlfriend when someone asked whom he was talking to. I would get mad at him but I couldn’t deny that it made my heart flutter. I don’t remember when I started to fall in love with him but I do know that it was too late when I did.
I’ve fallen into a trap of becoming his friend and only his friend. I would be nothing more than that and in a way being his friend was wonderful. I was the one he talked to every night. Maybe at one point he fell in love with me but I can never say for sure because he was always joking about it, teasing me.
It took more several months before I got the nerve to tell him how I feel. I told him I love him because of a dare. I went over to his house and as he buttoned up his shirt I babbled on and on about how I feel for him. He completely ignored everything.
A few days later, we made plans to hang out. I brought with me a letter. In it, I spilled my heart. I even included a poem.
A PETAL AND A TEAR
A guy gave this girl a rose
Whose petals were a beautiful red
And as soft as silk and velvet
To symbolize an eternal friendship
The girl kept it in a crystal vase
In a special place in her room
The vase stood tall upon her dresser
With everything she treasures
One fateful day the guy came upon
A lady who outshone everyone else
He fell in love with deepest desire
And she landed in his open arms
Somehow… Somewhere… Sometime…
The girl to whom he vowed
An eternal and unending friendship
Faded into the anonymous crowds
When the girl felt no more fear
She confronted her friend
All the hate, anger and sadness
Flowed out from her shattered heart
Speechless and stunned no words came
He stood there and stared
As she screamed “I had loved you!”
Then into the darkness she ran
In the distance she stopped
And whispered “I still love you now…”
As he stared at her silhouette
The wind blew and he heard her words
The girl slumped at her window
The guy stood outside hidden by trees
On a wooden dresser the first petal fell
As a tear splashed upon the earth
Full of anger and raw sorrow
The girl cried till tears came no more
With every breath her heart broke
With every tear her soul crumbles
Suddenly a pair of arms held her tight
She pulled away and stopped
He looked at her fragile state
Regret came for he knew his fault
She stared at him with utter defiance
As he mustered up his courage to say
“I thought we were just friends”
Her dark eyes flashed with pain
With all he had he pressed on
“I thought you wanted us to be friends,
I couldn’t have shown you my love…”
Tears glistened in his pleading eyes
She turned her back on him
“I wish you had let me know…
Then maybe it wouldn’t be like this”
She whispered to the dying rose
The guy captured her in an embrace
And she melted at his touch
With no words the last tear fell
on the last petal of the rose…
A love that was once a fantasy
A reality that was an illusion
Best of friends to sweethearts
It’s the greatest romance of all
A rose for the hopes and failures
The tears for sadness and joys
A friendship to the very end
The romance is just another beginning..
We didn’t get to hang out that day since something came up. He suddenly ran out and sent me a message. “I want to tell you something important. I’ll call you later. Take care since I’m not there to take care of you.” That night I waited for his call, I was literally sitting beside my phone waiting for it to ring.
He finally called. He was so excited. Then he dropped the bomb.
He has a girlfriend… She just said yes to him earlier that day.
My first heartbreak.
I managed to tell him that I was happy that he was happy. I wasn’t lying. I managed to get off the phone before my tears started to fall. I wasn’t going to let him hear me cry.
It wasn’t until a few months later when another heartbreak devastated me. His girlfriend wanted me to cut our communications. She threatened me a lot. Finally, after several fights, I gave in. Not because she scared me, not because she won… but because he wasn’t happy with what was going on. I stopped calling and answering messages. Just like that I lost my first love and my best friend.
2 years passed when out of the blue, he called. He sounded different. Distant. Empty. Something was definitely wrong. I knew it was about his girlfriend. They had a fight. A big one. It was her fault and yet he was the one feeling guilty about it. It hurt me so much. I wanted to tell him that she didn’t deserve a great guy like him but I didn’t. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. So I merely comforted him.
It was the last real talk we’ve ever had.
I still see him now and again but we lost that closeness that we once had. I know that we both cherish the memories we made. He even kept the letters and notes I gave him. It makes me wonder if he still reads them.
Thinking about him makes me nostalgic and yet it makes me smile.
He was my best friend.
My first love.
My first heartbreak.
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Nice blog, I think its better to cherish the love that he/she feel to someone but don’t let it ruin the relationship he/she got at the present.The real love care,respect,understand, accept, forgive and not to hurt someone else feeling.
Aww! It makes your heart skip a beat
Very nice i was touched. You see guys i have related myself from this story, but this time it’s the other way around. Me too i fell inlove to this very special girl but she’s not a filipina. Same thing, it started with a simple hi and hello. Got close, she confides everything and vice versa then it end of us to be best of friends. then 1 day i found myself i had already fallen inlove with her. I found out that she had the same feelings for me and she was just waitingfor me to tell her. But it was too late she had already given her heart to someone. Until now i still regret not to tell her how i feel. I had missed my chance. If i had just told her earlier and not let my fear got into my way maybe until now i am with her. In my life story, maybe she was the one qho added color on it i just cant forget her until now. But that all is past. I am happily married now with a lovely daughter. I had already moved on so much. But ti’ll this day if some memoires that may lead to remembering her, the wound in my heart becomes fresh again and i find myself staring on walls as i remember her smiles that once complete me.
wow, very good. keep it up. i love reading good blogs. i miss reading beautifully written blogs.
Sounds familiar; memories are not easy to forget especially if it’s someone dear to your <3. Only time can tell…
but the blogger is still lucky …you found a friend….a love and the heartbreak…makes us all human !
i fell in love with my best friend…we got married…after 17 years we got divorced….and after five years of divorced and got married to different partners we are friends again….not the best of friends but somehow we became friends again….
I remember the boy,but I don’t remember the feeling anymore….dinaan sa kanta…I think at one point or another we all fall for our bestfriends……..
ayieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xD
i can reminise and relate to this…its true and it really happens!!!!!
nice naman….ganda pa ng poem
)