Thoughts on Divorce

What do the people of the church know about marriage? How can a priest or a nun know anything about being in a relationship with another human being when they are living their lives in chosen solitude?

What do people in a working marriage know about being in a broken one? They are contented and happy and blessed. They have no idea what it is to live in a marriage where there is only more pain and suffering between the husband and the wife. And worst of all, to live a marriage life with the person that you no longer love.

You will never really know what it is like unless you have been there.

We all want an ideal marriage, one that will last for better or for worst, until death do us part.

But sadly, life and love are two uncertain things. Change is the only thing constant. Some changes in an individual or in a couple can make a relationship and the love stronger. But some changes can pull an individual or a couple away from each other, love fading away.

A broken marriage is like a broken wagon, dragging, heavy and a painful burden to carry.

At first you will try so many ways to fix it to make it work again. And some marriages do get fixed but there are also those marriages that no matter how many times you fix or how much you try to fix it, it will always get broken again or remain broken.

Being in a marriage that doesn’t work anymore is frustrating and it seeps the strength out of one’s soul. Each individual in a broken marriage slowly losses their sense of identity.

But what do I know about a broken marriage? I am not even a married person yet. But I have been in the middle of a broken marriage between my parents. And too see two people living together that no longer watching each other, I had to bear with them the brunt of carrying and pulling a wagon that is no longer working.

I can see that they were no longer both happy and contented but could no nothing about it. They were married yes but they no longer love each other.Looking at them all the time was like looking at two prisoner’s in a life sentence where there will never a chance for freedom. it pained me to see the two people I love the most could do nothing but endure unhappiness together when there is still a lot of time ahead of time. Time that could have been spent happily if they were both free to find love.

It was a torment to watch them in constant torture, in anguish and, agony.

And if divorce had been legal, I would not have mind them to start living their separate lives rather than seeing them together a lifeless life. I love them both and they both deserved to live a life of love and happiness rather than making them suffer what they had to endure with.

I am their child and every child wants their parents to stay together ideally. But I have grown since then , I am more mature now and my understanding of life and love has expanded exponentially.

And the truth of the matter is, life and love doesn’t always work out, no matter how much we try to make them work. We try to fix them. But some things in life and love, no matter how hard one tries, cannot be fixed.

And it makes no sense to just lie there helpless with a life or a love that no longer works. The thing to do is to find a new life and a new love to start. Because living in a dead life and love is like a living death, and no life at all.

Like a dying plant you are trying hard to revive into life. Sometime, miracle happens and it blooms back to life. And sometimes, no matter how much you water, put in fertilizer, bask in under the sun, it dies.

And I can’t understand why the church and all those people are against divorce. When a priest thinks that he is no longer fit to serve only God and that the life of serving God is not for him, he has the freedom to leave his marriage with God and live his own life. Why can’t two married couple, who know in their heart that their life together with each other is no longer for them, do the same?

Why can’t a wife being senselessly beaten almost to death by her husband leave the bastard and be free to find another man who will love and respect her? Why can’t two people who end up hurting each other leave the sick marriage and heal themselves? why can’t two people who no longer love each othere be free to find a love they can hold.

I respect God, I respect the church, I respect their effort to make the world a better place. But they should not be blinded about the truth, too. That the world is not a perfect place.

As much as there is beauty there is also the ugliness. There is life with foliage so thick and beautiful, and there is barren death. This is not a world of only life and all love.

We try our best, yes we do. But sometimes, some things are just out of our hands. It may be because it is in the greater hands of God. And what do we really know what His plans are for us?

If something we try hard to work on doesn’t work out, then it may be because it is not what God has destined for us. And there must be something better He has instore for us.

But how can we claim God’s better blessings when we are stuck in a rut, unable to move and go on with our life?

Now ask yourselves this, all of you who are against divorce, do you really want what’s best for the whole, or are you just trying to impose what has been right for your life?

No two lives are the same, and what you may have in your life may not be the same thing for others. What has worked for you may not work for others.

I may not even be married, but I saw what a broken marriage is like. And it is like being in a living hell.

I could be a selfish child and force my parents to stay together even if they no longer love each other, but I choose to be selfless. Because truth be told, if I were in my parents shoes, I too, would also want the freedom to be truly happy, to live in a marriage where there is love.

I love both my parents and I want them to be truly happy, even if it means I have to sacrifice a whole but dysfunctional family that no longer works anymore.

And when they find happiness with another person, then our family has not been broken at all, we have just grown bigger.

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